Friend decides to tell best friend’s boyfriend that her 20-year-old girlfriend soft-cheated on him after she didn't tell him herself, now they are back together: 'Her boyfriend said she doesn’t trust me anymore, that’s fine'

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  • 01

    if it's cheating, it's cheating. It's not something that can be a debatable matter.

    i know everybody's preferences on what cheating is can vary, but im sure most of us can agree that what happened can be considered cheating, if anything soft cheating. to make a long story short, my best friend (20f) called me (21f) about a week and a half ago and told me she was feeling off in her relationship. she wasn't sure if she loved him (20or21m) she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with him, etc. i was there for her, asked questions regarding her feelings, and tried to pinpoint what coul
  • 02
    A couple desiding to get separated. Models not real character subjects.
  • 03

    It may not be cheating. I don't think it is, but it's definitely not good either.

    with her friend. we'll call him Jace (23or24m). the conversation they had was extremely flirtatious and a bit disgusting, imo, when being in a relationship with somebody else. she had told me they talked about how they would get together if her boyfriend wasn't in the picture. Jace had said he "really liked her" and "would go after her immediately." she said the same thing. talking about s as well as compliments back and forth and wishes they could be together. blah blah blah, you get the point.
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  • 04

    She deserves to take her time to think about what she wants to do, but he also deserves not to have to wait for her for an undefined time.

    up with her and so he asked her if they were okay. she said "i don't know. i just need time to think about what i want." the days kept passing, and he kept asking me if all was okay. she kept telling him to stop pressing her, even though he never was. i finally snapped when her boyfriend sent her a heartfelt message. he sent it to me first and asked if this would be okay to send and if he was overstepping any boundaries. i told him that would be perfect to send and it's not overstepping anything
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  • 05

    This friend seems to be widely overstepping her territory here. Girl, this is not your relationship to be messing around in.

    anyway pushing her to give him an answer. well, she texted me and told me about the long a message he sent and complained that she "got a book" and said "i can't do this anymore. he's just putting so much pressure on me." she was acting very selfish and arrogant. he texted me really upset, saying she was frking out. this is when i snapped and told him what she told me about the phone call she had with Jace. he called me. we talked. i clarified things and answered his questions. he then confronte
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  • 06

    You can't be expecting her to trust you ever again. You were HER friend, why were you messing with her relationship?

    her boyfriend wait for a response, she's blocked Jace.. etc etc. she hasn't texted me once. she's barely been snapping me and has been ignoring me. her boyfriend said she doesn't trust me anymore. that's fine, i can understand that. however, she just hasn't spoken to me at all. i haven't texted her either because i don't know what i would say. i'm leaving a lot of details out, so if anybody needs clarification please ask.
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  • 07

    That is true, but it wasn't none of your business.

    Edit for context: i did encourage my bsf to tell her boyfriend about her conversation with Jace as well as had multiple conversations with her about leading him on. if she didn't feel content or sure about her relationship, she needed to take her boyfriends feelings into consideration as this involves two people and not just her.
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  • 08

    Still, none of your business!

    Edit 2 for context: there wasn't just one conversation with Jace. there's been multiple and they're quite close as well. they've flirted a few times before this specific phone call in front of her boyfriend as well. while she had her boyfriend waiting on the sidelines for an answer on their relationship, she sent me a snap of her and Jace sitting next to each other at a bar.
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  • 09

    So you got involved in a situation you didn't even fully understand... girl.

    Edit 3 for context: this will be the last edit. i'm just going to clarify some things. my second edit seemed to confuse people, and that's on me for not being specific. the only sexually explicit conversation i know of them having is the one that i mentioned in the main body. the other conversations i mentioned in the second edit, im not sure what they're about. i just know they have had multiple conversations because they're close to each other. they've hung out multiple times with and without
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  • 10
    though. she did know we were messaging each other as i would tell her that i was talking to him and express his worries about the relationship to her and that she needs to come up with an answer sooner rather than later because she's leading him on. i told her multiple times to tell him the truth, and if that she's this uncertain about her relationship then to drop it and move on because she's stringing another human beings feelings along. i don't care they've decided to stay together, that's go
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  • 11

    You are disappointed that things didn't go as you wanted them to go? That's so weird.

    disappointed that he decided to stay with her. if that's what they want though, then i don't really care because it doesn't affect me in anyway whether they continue the relationship or not. i did what i did because i have morals to stand on, and im not putting those morals aside for a friendship. after reading all the comments, im happy to say that im content with my decision and i don't regret it at all. for those messaging and commenting about how my boyfriend should be aware/watch out, he's
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  • 12

    Then you need to focus on your own relationship.

    boyfriend, he even talked to the boyfriend himself. we are in a very happy and trusting relationship.
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  • 13
    A woman talking on a phone call. Respresentation only.
  • 14

    Of course he deserved to know, but not from this girl's mouth. The girlfriend was the one who needed to tell her.

    Namrahc NTA Being friends with someone doesn't meant right and wrong stop being a thing. You did the right thing letting him know. He deserved to know and at bare minimum she was emotionally cheating on him. More than likely she physically cheated on him as well and the second he confronted her she panicked. Hopefully he realizes what type of person she truly is and gets away from her. No matter what other people say though, you did the right thing and as a guy who has been in the boyfriend's po
    via Namrahc
  • 15

    Of course the girlfriend acted horribly. There's no doubt in that. But why is this friend getting so involved in her friend's relationship? It's so weird.

    Strange_One_3790 NTA except in the eyes of her, a cheater. She will see you as an AH. Everyone else will see her as an AH
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  • 16

    I agree. Why would he even continue being in a relationship with her? Have some self-respect, man.

    rhevern Poor guy should've saved himself the trouble instead of continuing to be with her
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  • 17

    So true! Why is this girl getting so involved in all this?

    KtinaDoc If you're that upset about what she does in her personal life, stop being her friend.
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  • 18

    The way this friend acted in the whole situation is extremely uncanny, and it makes her seem like the worst friend. She seems to be too involved in things that aren't her business at all.

    leslielantern Why were you texting and talking on the phone with your best friend's boyfriend behind her back? Does he not have friends? Did your best friend know you were talking to him about their relationship or did you hide that from her? Did you tell her you'd seen that message and encouraged him to send it? She should've told him, but it wasn't your place to tell him. You chose him over your friendship, which is fine and I understand it morally. But you made that choice and there are conse
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